Obituaries

Juan Medina
B: 1979-06-17
D: 2024-03-05
View Details
Medina, Juan
Andres Albizu Rosado
B: 1949-08-22
D: 2024-03-04
View Details
Albizu Rosado, Andres
Robert Spatz
B: 1954-11-15
D: 2024-03-03
View Details
Spatz, Robert
Maria Hernandez
D: 2024-02-24
View Details
Hernandez, Maria
Louise Dease
D: 2024-02-23
View Details
Dease, Louise
Robert Irey
B: 1950-10-18
D: 2024-02-20
View Details
Irey, Robert
Ignacio Lara-Regalado
B: 1960-08-29
D: 2024-02-20
View Details
Lara-Regalado, Ignacio
Cyrell Ellner Smith
B: 1924-03-04
D: 2024-02-18
View Details
Ellner Smith, Cyrell
Anastacio Gonzalez
B: 1932-05-02
D: 2024-02-17
View Details
Gonzalez, Anastacio
Thomas Gavigan
B: 1946-08-02
D: 2024-02-15
View Details
Gavigan, Thomas
Juan Vargas
B: 1959-05-06
D: 2024-02-14
View Details
Vargas, Juan
Rosa Ortiz-Borelli
B: 1950-12-11
D: 2024-02-13
View Details
Ortiz-Borelli, Rosa
Raymond Hensel
B: 1947-03-05
D: 2024-02-11
View Details
Hensel, Raymond
Miguel Hernandez
B: 1929-08-04
D: 2024-02-11
View Details
Hernandez, Miguel
Buenaventura Aybar
B: 1948-07-22
D: 2024-02-11
View Details
Aybar, Buenaventura
Barry Grim
B: 1946-06-20
D: 2024-02-11
View Details
Grim, Barry
Penny Walker
B: 1960-02-20
D: 2024-02-07
View Details
Walker, Penny
Gladys Williams
B: 1942-03-07
D: 2024-02-06
View Details
Williams, Gladys
Carlos Torres
D: 2024-02-06
View Details
Torres, Carlos
Jaddiel Trinidad Lizardi
B: 2001-08-16
D: 2024-02-04
View Details
Trinidad Lizardi, Jaddiel
Miguel Acevedo
B: 1927-01-18
D: 2024-01-29
View Details
Acevedo, Miguel

Search

Use the form above to find your loved one. You can search using the name of your loved one, or any family name for current or past services entrusted to our firm.

Click here to view all obituaries
Search Obituaries
229 North Fifth St.
Reading, PA 19601
Phone: (610) 373-4500
Fax: (610) 373-8449

Obituaries & Tributes

It is not always possible to pay respects in person, so we hope that this small token will help.

Immediate Need

If you have immediate need of our services, we're available for you 24 hours a day.

Pre-Arrangement

A gift to your family, sparing them hard decisions at an emotional time.

Order Flowers

Offer a gift of comfort and beauty to a family suffering from loss.

When Grief Doesn't Ease


Sometimes it feels as if your bereavement will never end. You feel as if you’d give anything to have the pain go away; to have the long lonely hours between nightfall and dawn pass without heartache. You are not the only grieving person who has longed for some measure of relief.

In the novel, My Sister’s Keeper, author Jodi Picoult wrote, “There should be a statute of limitations on grief. A rule book that says it is all right to wake up crying, but only for a month. That after 42 days you will no longer turn with your heart racing, certain you have heard her call out your name.”

No such rule book exists. Grief counselors and therapists tell us that the length of time it takes anyone to grieve the loss of someone they held dear to them is dependent on the situation, how attached you were to the deceased, how they died, your age and gender. So many variables exist and there’s absolutely no way to predict how long it will take for you to adapt to your loss.


The Difference between Normal and Complicated Grief

Research findings have led experts to come up with many differing categories of grief experience ranging from normal to complicated. Normal (or uncomplicated) grief has no timeline and encompasses a range of feelings and behaviors common after loss such as bodily distress, guilt, hostility, preoccupation with the image of the deceased, and the inability to function as one had before the loss. All are normal and present us with profound – and seemingly endless – challenges. Yet, Katherine Walsh says, “Over the course of time, with average social support…most individuals will gradually experience a diminishment of these feelings, behaviors, and sensations.”

So, how can you know if your bereavement is no longer within the range of normal? Ms. Walsh goes on to say, “While there is no definitive time period by which this happens, if an individual or members of a family continue to experience distress intensely or for a prolonged period – or even unexpectedly years after a loss – they may benefit from treatment for complicated grief.”


A Useful Model for Assessment: Worden’s Four Tasks of Mourning

There are certain tasks that when achieved during your bereavement, can successfully allow you to emerge on the other side of loss as a better, stronger, and more resilient individual. James Worden proposed these four tasks:

  1. To accept the reality of the loss
  2. To process the pain of grief
  3. To adjust to a world without the deceased
  4. To find an enduring connection with the deceased in the midst of embarking on a new life

Instead of focusing on your bodily discomforts, feelings, and common behaviors, this model allows you to better see where you may be stuck or stalled in the adaptive process. Fortunately, Worden also gives us a list of indicators advising that "any one of these clues in and of itself may not be sufficient" for a diagnosis of complicated grief. "However," he continues, "any of these…should be taken seriously, and the diagnosis of complicated grief should be considered when they appear."

12 Clues…12 Insights

While grief educators and theorists tell us that a diagnosis of complicated grief should not even be attempted until after the first anniversary of the death, if any one of the following symptomatic clues exists for longer than six months, you may want to consider grief counseling or grief therapy:

  1. You cannot speak of the deceased without experiencing intense and fresh grief long after the loss.
  2. A relatively minor event triggers an intense grief reaction.
  3. Your conversations with others are littered with references to loss. In other words, loss is an ever-present motif in your world view.
  4. You have issues related to your loved one's possessions. Keeping everything the same as before their death could indicate trouble just as tossing out everything right away can also be a clue to disordered mourning. (You also need to factor in your cultural and religious background)
  5. You have developed physical symptoms similar to those of the deceased before their death. Sometimes these symptoms recur annually, on the anniversary of the death, or on holidays. An increased susceptibility to illness or the development of a chronic physical complaint can also be an indicator.
  6. If you have made radical changes to your lifestyle, or excluded friends, family members, or even activities associated with the deceased, it may indicate unresolved grief.
  7. A long history of depression, often marked by guilt or low self-esteem, can reveal disordered mourning. The opposite is also true: a person experiencing a false sense of happiness or elation could be experiencing unresolved grief.
  8. A compulsion to imitate the deceased, in personality or behavior, can be a sign of complicated mourning.
  9. Having self-destructive impulses or exhibiting self-destructive behaviors can be significant. These can range from substance abuse, engaging in self-harm, developing eating disorders and suicidal tendencies.
  10. A sense of unexplained sadness occurring at a certain time each year (holidays, anniversaries, or birthdays) can also be a clue to unresolved grief.
  11. Developing a strong fear about dying, especially when it relates to the illness that took the life of your loved one, is an important clue.
  12. If you have avoided visiting your loved one's grave or if you are still unwilling to discuss the circumstances of their death, this could indicate complications in your bereavement.

There are many types of complicated grief; it can be delayed, masked, exaggerated, or chronic. Self-diagnosis is without purpose. A year after the death, if you feel your grief symptoms worsening, we advise that you seek a referral from your family physician for  professional grief counseling or therapy.

Sources:
Walsh, Katherine, Grief and Loss: Theories and Skills for the Helping Professions, 2nd Edition, 2012.

Worden, James, Grief Counseling & Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner, 4th Edition, 2009.